Park Police

We are a country of laws, which is a good thing. In fact, we have a lot of laws...perhaps too many. While I'm all in favor of law enforcement, I'd say a good portion of our laws are: outdated, unnecessary, unenforceable, and even silly. Municipalities have some laws that are designed to function only as revenue generators. I have a problem with that. How about from now on, every time your local, state, or national representatives want to enact a new law...they have to get rid of at least two old ones?

When Worlds Collide

This cartoon illustrates that moment just before all hell breaks loose or the hilarity begins, depending on how you look at it. My alert readers will know that this is a riff on Velcro, one of the last century's better ideas. I've always thought that when Velcro is pulled apart, it sounds like the seat of someone's pants ripping out. After all these years, I'm still slightly amused when I hear that sound. So, I guess I'm a little juvenile that way.

Personal Problem

Lycanthropy: is a psychological disorder where a person believes that they are, or have been transformed into, an animal (usually a wolf) and then acts accordingly. Every few years the public seems to re-discover it's fascination with vampires and to a lesser degree, werewolves. I never "got" the whole vampire thing. I never understood what all the flap was about. In my mind, vampires are very overrated. Blood is not sexy-- ask any nurse or paramedic. I have always preferred the werewolves. However, the attacking and maiming of people is an unattractive aspect. What appeals to me instead is the idea of shape shifting into a physically superior animal form. That strikes an atavistic chord within me. How cool would that be to leap and run unhindered through the forest? All of this reminds me of something I witnessed during my visits to South Korea. The Koreans like to exercise early in the morning. People go outdoors and do all manner of things from playing golf, to martial arts. As the sun is rising you can see Korean men running up steep hillsides while yelling at the top of their lungs. How wonderfully cathartic! We should try that here in the States. Why should the Koreans have all the fun? Maybe I'll start a club.

One Fine Day at the Banjo Shop

Continuing with our "signs" theme from last week...

I was going to write a long piece about how awful it must be for employees at guitar stores who must listen to amateurs violate the same old rock riffs day after day. Then I wondered if a similar thing occurred down at the local banjo shop as well. I was then going to impress you my loyal readers, with trivia about the enormously popular bluegrass instrumental "Dueling Banjos", which was featured in the 70's film "Deliverance". For example; the soundtrack itself had a guitar and a banjo "dueling", and not two banjos as the title would suggest. Also, this hit song spawned many imitations and parodies such as "Dueling Tubas". This would then demonstrate my solid grasp of modern music history, and useless information. I was going to write about all that stuff and then decided...why bother?

Signs

It is human nature to seek out ways to get our individual needs met. The three guys in today's cartoon have chosen to use signs to accomplish that end. As a former sign maker myself, I know that the most effective type of signs are those that convey useful information or influence behaviour. Signs at their worst are unnecessary eyesores. Love 'em or hate 'em, I believe that the world would be chaos without signs. Feel free to quote me on that. Where would we be without signs to offer us valuable suggestions like; Stop, Right Turn Only, Handle With Care, Eat Here, Bridge Out, Clothing Optional Beach, Don't Put Your Lips On This, and so on?